Monday, July 5, 2010


Maybe for the first time ever.. and i hope it is the last time also... i feel like writing about a hopeless community of people.. 'the politicians of India today'...maybe, this is just RAJNEETI-the movie speaking in my head... coming out today because of the bharat- bandh that happened on july 5th and the violence that resulted.. ! it is sad to see the rape of an aam aadmi... by people who pledge and pretend to be the God of the country and run it!
In the the kissa of kursi and power, whoever wins, the govt. or the opposition , i hardly care!!...
because i know the one who will loose... the one who will suffer... the one who will have to bite the dust from either ends... will always be you..n.. me... the junta...!
with the govt. refusing any roll-back in the price hike... who pays the price? we THE JUNTA.... and with the opposition playing hartaal.. who paid the price? who lost their lives?...we THE JUNTA.. the aam aadmi, the mango man!
congress increases the price and rapes the budget of people, opposition declares bandh raping the financial statics of the country.. !
talking of stats... i just read in figure that just due to one day of bandh... the RBI suffered a loss of some thousand crores... freak! now will these rich-ass politicians pay it from their black pockets? hah!
And what about people who, due to closure had to survive empty-stomach? how unfair was it for people who survive on tiffins and mess and restaurants... wasn't it like a forced hunger-strike for them? and benefited who?? no-one, except for aiding to the rivalry of the parties..
but well.. i think.. it is a waste of time even writing over this... who congress, who BJP... from where i am looking..they're all just wild goons seeking power and attention... and screwing aam aadmi for completely personal interests...
had BJP been in power... congress would have done the same...!
just maybe a suggestion...or maybe a request.. for all the bandhs to come... with the closure of shops and putting a halt to normal life of people... i wish the violent minds also stop their violent acts... and the politicians stop their dirty games... even if for a day.. i think that, for a change might help the country..!
peace.. ('')

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


a hand to hold her tears..
a voice that drives away her fears..
the fingers that detangle her locks..
is of the man she loves..!

the eyes that can pierce..
the ear, everything they want to hear..
the thoughts that touch her soul..
is of the man she loves....!

the strength that drives her will..
the calmness to caress her sudden shrills..
the words that blow her tears dry..
is of the man she loves...!

the kisses that linger..
the hugs that were undone...
the trust she always deserved...
were of the man she loves..!

the man who couldn't reciprocate her love..
the man who gave her a lifetime of regret..
for all the moments of love she expected...
the man she'll never stop loving...!!!!!

Sunday, May 24, 2009


"They say God sends 
people in your life for a REASON..
sometimes or a for a while 
and some for a season..
but with you i know it is for a lifetime..
ok cut, this time, 
NO RHYME.. :p"

ahem-ahem! so, somebody has just kissed another year a 'goodbye'..... HAPPY BUDDAY BEEP! :) ..

ok.. SAKSHI ARORA..i guess people already know her here..she's one of those rare-strange-souls..that u come across in life
 very rarely...believe me when i say it..
"special" is the word maybe i will use to describe someone like of a kind..totally boisterous-merrymaking types..(just like meeh!) :p

remember BEEP! you asked me once.."agar mere jaise 'psycho' dost ho tere, to kya hoga??" and i replied.." hoga kya.. KHOOB JAMEGI YAAR..!!"..and see i was right..:)
she makes the last piece of this puzzle fall right into place...

"people come into your life for a REASON, a 
SEASON or A LIFETIME..when u figure it out..that's when things fall into place.." :)

* when they come for a REASON..
it is usually to meet a need (i needed a tucchi dost..)'ve expressed outwardly or inwardly..(i asked God..that why was my life so not-happening n see he sent you..for the 'twist' ;) )

* when they come for a SEASON..
'cuz maybe its your turn now to spend a lot of time with them..learn grow and share...

* but when she came i somehow knew it was for a LIFETIME..she won't change like the seasons will she leave when the 'reason'* is over and the need has been met..i knew she would stay for as long as ...ummmm....which one is longer? FOREVER or ALWAYS?? :)

"forever friends are such 
who smile it up and live it through..
who are as crazy as ever
 just like ME AND YOU!!"

ok... maybe we are not the 'best friends'...but perhaps! we are like the enemies that can't do without each other.. :p
let's parrdy BEEP!!... today is the day when my prayer (for a 'dil-se-dost') was fulfilled long ago.. :p

HAPPY BUDDAY BEEP!! (BTW, how old are you?? :p)

:) thanx for being there buddy...have fun..!


* ofcourse she is here for a 'reason'...yes! because i needed her to be.. :)

Sunday, May 10, 2009

is HEAVEN in the yellow pages?

a very simple and poignant poem.... i loved it..


Mommy went to Heaven, 

but I need her here today, 

My tummy 

hurts and I fell down, 
I need her right away.
Operator can you tell me 

how to find her in this book?

Is heaven in the yellow part,
I don't know where to look.
I think my daddy needs her too,
at night I hear him cry. 

I hear him call 

her name sometimes, 
but I really don't know why.

Maybe if I call her, 
she will hurry home to me.
Is Heaven very far away,
is it across the sea?
She's been gone a long, long time
she needs to come

 home now! 
I really need to reach her,

but I simply don't know how. 

Help me find the number please, 
is it listed under "Heaven"?
I can't read these big, big words,
I am only seven.
I'm sorry operator, 

I didn't mean to make you cry, 
Is your tummy hurting too,
or is there something in your eye?

If I call my church maybe they will know.
Mommy said when we need help,
that's where we should go.
I found the number to my church
tacked up on the wall.
Thank you operator,
I'll give them a call.


Monday, February 9, 2009

Falling Leaves

I was thinking of old friends today

and how many of them have slipped away.

Moved, got married, or stopped calling so much,

Found new friends, got busy,
and just lost touch.

It reminded me of falling leaves .

Every autumn the leaves fall from the trees.

Some stay longer than others
, but eventually -

Each leaf must fall, I'm told,

leaving the tree alone to face the cold.

Why is it that in the time of utmost need

the leaves would seek to leave the tree?

And when we need our friends around

we look and they cannot be found?

Of course these friendships come and go

and in the spring new leaves will grow.

But I prefer autumn friends of old

with crackling laughter and colors bold.

And then I thought of you.

That one stubborn leaf that won't let go.

That clings despite the winds that blow.

Fighting ice, and snow, and winter's stings

Hanging on right through till spring.

So I guess that's what you are to me -

The very last leaf to leave the tree.

I know it seems silly, but it's true.

When I see that last leaf...I think of you.

....don't drift away.... will you???

although it is not my own creation...but still a lot of things in my life right now are no less than shedding autumn leaves...

but that again reminds me of a quote....

"When a leaf falls from a tree, it is not falling,it is just setting itself free!!!"

so maybe their is positive side for all this that is happening...

i choose to have faith...

love ~nix!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


............................................ this is how my mind has been after i posted the last time..EMPTY...

i thought of writing about the 'christmas-time'...and started watching THE OC~best christmukha ever... (the fourth time perhaps...still as occupying as it had been the first time..)...

then i thought i'd blog about the only thing i do almost regularly..(except usual stuff of eating sleeping and bein angry n crying..) which is watching the OC series..but didn't cuz i was too busy watchig it then actually writing about it...ufff!!!

then came 'the new year'
had 5 ultimate parrdddy plans....all got canceled..and i spent the night all my room with all my stuffies...and books...studying...tch...fu@k...WAT A NEW YEAR...!!!

and the post went TING~A~LING....

n the last i thought was that i'd write one of my most favourite article...which is actually from my english paper..10th preboard...FEMINISM...and after good one week of starting still finds its place in the drafts..poor me!...

and finally having nothing else complete and worthy to be posted um putting this tag on my blog since i have absolutely nothing to keep my blog alive otherwise..
~sad disgusted and biggest procrast of the time....

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3.Something I have and you want?
4.Give me a nick name and explain why you picked it.
5.Describe me in one word.
6.What was your first impression of me?
7.Do you still think that way about me now?
8.What reminds you of me?
9.If you could ever give me one thing, what would it be?
10.How well do you know me?
11.How do you see me in the future?
12. Something you wanted to tell me but couldn't.
13.Are you going to put this on your blog to see what I say about you?

comment and take the tag to your blog to see wat i answe..
looking forward to writing some stuff..AND POSTING IT TOO...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

2 in 1 (err...suggest me a better title..plidge!! =(.. )

two people in one,
one happy one sad,

Two sides of me,
One mad and one glad.
There is only one side,
I try to let show.
My feelings inside,
the others don't know.
I'm two people in one,
as strange as that sounds.
The real me inside,
even i've not yet found.


Friday, December 5, 2008


this is a part of a conversation I HAD after the mumbai blasts..i feel each one of us should be a part of it...and hence posting this here...

i know you have your personal lives, exams, jobs..all of us are a few things that we can do, personally or as a movement..

we have all seen the is the time for some action guyz..


this is OUR COUNTRY and OUR GOVERNMENT..WE will have to DEMAND..each person can contribute at their own capacity..may it be a rally, candles in the window, a peace march or more personal actions like writing articles in magzines, newspapers or interviews, or generate awareness through leaflets, posters, banners. or a simple thing like putting a white flag that says "WE DEMAND"...or a msg on the back of our car....

each one of us will have to speak up in our own voice..only then it will be a movement otherwise it will just be an outrage..

you are free to choose any option...

so here is my question..


I say BIG..but thats just my option..all i request you is to choose an option..write in your comments...


P.S.~ab hume chinta nahi boat se aane walon ki ab hume chinta hai VOTE se aane waalon ki...guyz please use your vote sensibly and carefully..

all for one!


Monday, November 17, 2008

"I SUCK*" a a a a 'NOBODY'...hell!! yeah!!...even as a complete stranger...

*suck=Be inadequate or objectionable or unwanted..
(for all those who are congenitally pervert..)

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I scribble..I doodle..
It’s a dream from my fable..
I’m writing on this paper..
It’s lying on my table..!!

I dream of a place..
It’s a world in itself..
I dream of a place..
With fairies and elf..!!

Its love all around..
The sky hugs the ground..
Beyond the trees I try to see..
It’s a beautiful place for just..
You and me..!!

I dream of place..
It has the sea most wide..
I dream of a place..
With you by my side..!!

Its cold all around..
Calm water..Makes no sound..
I’m talking of the place.
Where our our new home I see..
I’m talking of the place..
Where together we’d be..!!

But ouch!! Something hurts..
Why am I in all this pain..
Why am I loosing my sight..
Am I falling into sleep yet again??

What is this place..
Is it the same dream?
Flowers on my window..
Are shining under the ‘divine’ beam!!

Aah!! It hurts again//
Yet again I feel the pain..
Why is everyone around me crying?
Is it just this dream..

The man I saw in my dream..
Is here, holding my hand..
I struggle to look at his finger..
Yeah!! It still has our wedding band..!!

Fire and fire,
Was suddenly, all I could see..
Fire oh fire..
Its prey the other night was..

He asked me for a wish..
I hunted for a perfect reply..
It was my ‘LAST WISH’ after all..
How could he deny??

‘I LOVE YOU’ , I said..

just may be an hour more of the 'death-play'..and the girl collapsed into the world of 'nothingness'..the poem is written about a girl who fell victim to a fire hazard..just 2 days after her engagement party..she was forced to go into 'the-dreamless-long-slumber'..jus when she started to dream of her coming new was an incident i came across a few months back..and again in a dream..4 days back..

P.S.~it took me almost 2 days to write this poem..mainly because of my struggle with myself to recollect the incident..which i promised to myself..i never will..but yeah!! its finally out..and out beautifully..phew!!
may her soul 'REST IN PEACE..'


Wednesday, November 5, 2008


a lot happened since i penned down down my last post and jotted down this one latest...

i guess it has almost been 3 weeks, i turned 19..(biiieeeeggg gurl:P)...had fun partied..went out of town..deepawli..had an ear surgery..and more...the only thing i did not do i guess..was posting here...and yeah!!! i missed it...was on rest..wasnt allowed to surf even..(hrmphh!!!)..but out of my long slumber!!! and posting...

along with all the other things...i did..i also finished 2 of the novels...that i had been reading..(actually not-really-reading)..since 2months i guess....

have nothing much to write here...just a small poem..i read in one of the books..the other in your comments if u like-it..(the poyam :P)


dog-eared covers

enclose fading text..

missing pages i seek

unknown chapters ahead..!!!

writing my dreams

in the blank pages ahead..

line after line filled

with hopes in my head..!!!

it may well..change,

like chalk on slate..

but atleast il know

the author was me..




lv:nickku :

Friday, October 17, 2008


so comes october 18...MY HAPPY B'DAY...with no happy it will parddy....(planned)..and obviusly no ideas about any SURPRISE that awaits me..(if by any chance it is..)...

sitting here 2 hrz before my bday actually begins...quiet...too much with sound..the feeling of 'ennui' encroaching upon my not-so-important thoughts...

missing sumone..A BEEP..wishing for sumone...praying for sumone..(AND ALL THESE 'SUMONE' ARE DIFFERENT)..

sipping little coffee..aahh..pricked my tongue...

realising that time flies away...

waits for none..not for me..not for anyone..years have passed..eighteen long ones..
days have passed after i had a blast on 18..last year...

um missing few of my best-est ons..

have moved away from a few closed ones..

life has changed...

a lot has come into it-a lot has left..

things have moved on fast...

so fast that i havent noticed a lot of them...
for a few of them i feel happy that they happened..for the rest..wateva..!!!

those precious moments of the year...are my heart..somewhere in the corner..where no one can see...

aahh!!! another good year....

happy budday nickku...!!!!


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

MY ANGEL :) (as insisted!!)

hmm.. so lemme tell u a li'l abt the situation this poem was written in...well, it was written last night (better reffered to as today morning..)..4 o'clock..almost..when a loved one wished for a poem..written in absolutely fucking..n crap mind-state..finished in almost less than 12 min...

"aree..plz betu suna de na..bahut mann kar raha hai.."he said..

so this onez for you 'swetz'...;)


when sad you feel..
or kicked by a bad flu..
when u search for a smile...
but sadness sticks like a glue..
don't be worried..
all problems he 'll mend..
and if he won't do it himself..
an angel he will send..!!
may not ride down a rainbow..
may not hav a divine glow..
may not give ur life a hard blow..
but maybe shez the one writing this..
maybe shez sumone you already know..!!

may not be a princess jumped out of a fairy tale..
may not be as bright as a precious jewel for sale..
may not wash your worries in a quick flow..
maybe shez the one writing this..
maybe shez sumone you already know..!!
can i be your angel n fill color in ur life..
soft to cuddle and guard u tight..
everytime wen u share..everytime il care..
and wen all leave ur side..i promise il stick there..
don't know wat i can do for you..
cant bring the water up wid a tide..
cant swim a river..
cant walk the desert so wide..

cant explain what u mean to me..
cant tell you how much i love you..
cant tell u the things i'd do..
but da..

can i still be the angel for you...??

love:nickku..d gr8!!


(v) smoked a cigarette--> hmm...once in full knowlege of fattuz mommy..on her roof top 3 at night..

() done some form of dope

( ) crashed a friend's car

( v) stolen a car-->hehe..yup...cousins..toy was a dare

(v) been in love -->i guess tats the problem...tat um not in love wid him...

( v) been dumped-->kinda recently..even been two-timed apne pure hosh-o-hawaaz me..

() shoplifted

() been fired

() been in a fist fight

() sneaked out of your parent's house .

(v) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back--> wat if its the other way round??

( v) gone on a blind date-->hehe...hell yess!!! april was...aaahhh!!!(:P)

(v) lied to a friend -->hihihi...lott ov them...

( v) skipped school -->thrice...jumped walls..sneaked out of the main gate even..serius fun...

( ) seen someone die

(v) had a crush on one of your internet friends--> Ahem even went beyond just a crush..did turn into a relation..n it..

() been to Singapore .

( ) been to Mexico

(v) been on a plane -->Big deal?

(v) eaten sushi And felt pukish.

( ) been skiing-snow or water

(v) met someone from the internet--> hehe...hmm april the 5th....

() been at a concert

() taken painkillers

(v) love someone or miss someone right now--> hmm..yes.a stupid idiot..

(v) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by--> too often.

() made a snow angel

(v) had a tea party-->not tea exactly..not even parddyy exactly..!!

(v) flown a kite -->Ahaan. I love it. but most of the time im there at the top i prefer BIRD-watching..taz more fun..hehe

(v) built a sand castle -wish to...

( ) gone puddle jumping

( ) played dress up-->hell..yeah!!

(v) jumped into a pile of leaves -->not leaves as such was hay..i guess sum of it has entered my empty brain now is the main ingredient inside;)

( ) gone sledding

(v) cheated while playing a game -->fair play...well wazz tat??

(v) been lonely -->prefer being lotta times...

(v) fallen asleep at work/school -->all the geography classes..all the physics ones too.. :D

() used a fake ID .

(v) watched the sun set -->deep Sigh..along wid watchn i also hav a nag of capturing it in my faltu camera..i jus love the red sky..

() watched someone sleep .

( v) felt an earthquake-->after my 12th board physics ppr..pairo tale zameen khisak gyi thi..

(v) slept beneath the stars -->n loved it

() been tickled .

(v) been robbed -->quite a lot ov times..

(v) been misunderstood -->as always...

() pet a reindeer/goat/kangaroo

(v) won a contest -->Quite. A. made john...yeee...see the pic in my side bar..yipee-wipee woo hoo!!

( ) run a red light/stop sign-->cant count the no ov times now..

( ) been suspended from school

( ) been in a car crash

( ) had braces

(v) felt like an outcast/third person-->common story..

( v) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night-->

(v) had deja vu--> Err..all the time..

(v) danced in the moonlight -->yupz..loved party nite il neva eva furget...

(v) liked the way you looked -->my first n last love - SELF-LOVE...hihi how true..!!!

( ) witnessed a crime

(v) questioned your heart -->every night..

() been obsessed with post-it notes

(v) squished mud through your bare feet ;)

(v) been lost -->most ov the times..i hav the worst direction sense u knw...:D

( ) been on the opposite side of the country

(v) swam in the ocean -->mumbai??

(v) felt like dying -->once every two hrz..

(v) cried yourself to sleep --> my blog posts..tazz the first line..many a times..

(v ) played cops and robbers-->even other foolish games..lov 'em all..

(v) recently colored with crayons--> quite a lot this month n last one..made cards for few lovely ppl..

() sang karaoke

.(v) paid for a meal with only coins -->hell...naah!! a farishta saved me frm the embaressment..(v) done something you told yourself you wouldn't -->YAESSSSSSS. is that a question? i guess tats a fact...

(v) made prank phone calls -->Fuck. hell lott..

(v) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose--> ding dong...

( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue

(v) danced in the rain --> it!in the rain walking on the road..with...^~^

(v ) a letter to Santa Claus-->i wanted a twin..was 7 tat time..i wanted sumone who cud go to skool tk my place..i dunno why..cuz now i so miss goin to skul..

( ) been kissed under the mistletoe..:D

( ) watched the sun rise with someone you care about ..

(v) blown bubbles--> last it!!

( ) made a bonfire on the beach

( ) crashed a party

( ) gone roller skating

(v) had a wish come true--> Quite a few

( ) jumped off a bridge

( ) ate dog/cat food

( ) told a complete stranger you loved them

(v) kissed a mirror--> hihi...lot many times..

(v) sang in the shower--> All the time(sang....doubtful..screamed i guess)

(v) had a dream that you married someone-->long french sir..first crush..

(v) glued your hand to something--> to sumbodys hand..3hrz of the movie..;)

(v) kissed a photo--> yes!! yess!! yess!!

() climbed a water tower

( ) screamed at the top of your lungs

( ) done a one-handed cartwheel

(v) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours--> ha had been a routine..lil time bak..longest was 10 in nite to 7 in the morning..had my chemistry board practical tat not even a word...dint even if studying helped the othr felows..impression on teachers does wonders..!!

() picked and ate an apple right off the tree

(v) climbed a tree -->peepal tree(nokia) at skul..

( ) had a tree house

(v) been too scared to watch a scary movie alone---> Forever.

( ) believe in ghosts

( v) have more than 30 pairs of shoes -->bachpan se ajtak to yes..otherwise...naah!!.

() worn a really ugly outfit to school

() gone streaking

() gone doorbell ditching

(v) been pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on-->hell 3 in the the month of january....*shivers*

( ) told you're hot by a complete stranger

(v ) broken a bone-->brotherz..playing some stupid doctors help....

() been easily amused .

( ) caught a fish then ate it

() caught a butterfly .

(v) laughed so hard you cried--> Hmmm..!

( ) cried so hard you laughed

(v) cheated on a test--> Errr..countless no of times...

(v) forgotten some one's name--> neva-eva..hav a gud memory..very gud actually

( ) French braided some one's hair

() gone skinny dipping in a pool/hot tub/river

( ) been threatened to be kicked out of your house or been kicked out of your house-->every week's dose..

(v) loved someone so much you would gladly die for THEM --> doubts abt this one..there are a few ppl in tat zone..(

( ) cheated on someone--> hell..neva..neva even will..

(v) talk to yourself when no one's around -->i do tat sumtimes even wen ppl are around..landed into embaressing situations a lotta timz!!

() hate someone you once loved

( v) love someone you once hated-->well..i kinda fall in love very esily..

(v) kissed the phone for the person on the other side ------>>yeaaaaaaah..

(v) kissed the person on the other side of the phone --->>>well....yyyyeeaaaah!!!.

phew!!! tat was longg....quite longg...though the answerz aint too funny or pun-intended..but yeah..they are true as they cud be..

\,,/ rock on!!


Wednesday, September 17, 2008


In times now or before, I’m sure every one of us has actually had a situation when we had to wait …..Wait for the good times to come..Or wait for the creepy times to leave..Wait for Ur girl to get ready..(Though in that case the wait is worth it..)..Or most simply..Wait for Ur bus to come..And so…the wait has always been there..There are a few people I know who have a habit of being late..And the most common excuse is.. ”c’mon re…sirf 20min hi to late hu, India me itta to chalta hi hai”..So,well here comes the INDIAN STANDARD TIME..Or better said “whenever u wish to” time..This says 12:00 when u wish..Even if its 2:00pm…funny??? Naa ask the person who waits for you..And then after much observation..I landed on to another brand of people (after not-punctual and punctual)..The category of people who are .. UNDER-PUNCTUAL.. vella people like me, who arrive at a place almost 30 min or at least 15 min early just Cuz they don’t want to wait for anyone and hence, prefer not even to keep somebody waiting..Now since that’s been a routine for me..Let’s get over it and see what happens when you sit in a cafĂ© and wait for sumone to come…
Sitting at Mc. D ; 11.30 AM..waiting for a stark to come and pick you up since you have become an eye candy for people sitting around and throwing guesses as to why is this dim gurl sitting here since last one hour and scribbling something in her notebook..!! I tried walking to them and reciting my situation..But then I thought that it wud be of no use…a few ‘rose-petals’ also caught my eye while I was looking at them..I had no intent to embarrass them ..Just wished them to be a guest in my post..(But then let ‘em enjoy their privacy..)..Then there were a few groups..Lol-ing..Having fun..I had been their ‘shikaar’ twice now..
One guy actually came up to me..With an embarrassed look..Like he wanted to jump into an alligators’ mouth then do this..But he did finally make it to my seat and told me that ‘I have a nice smile..’.(J).and then almost ran away…( well, that was the first time I ever got that compliment, and the guy dint even stop for a ‘thank u’..)..
Another gurl walked to me and asked me curiously about wat I was doing,.. ‘Finally!! Humph!! Somebody was interested..I narrated her all wat I was doing..And since I guess she didn’t get me..So she offered me to come and sit with her frnz..WOW!! Gurlz do hav a heart..!! Impressive..But ‘kya yaar!! I had to refuse..With a “thanx anyways” Cuz it was 12:15 and was time for the ‘sumone’ to come and well I guess he is here..I can see through the glass..(No wonderz!! U all know that I’ve written this since I was waiting..Not Cuz ‘sumone’ was late..But since ‘I’ was too early..!!) Now that’s how I am..’I YAM WAT I YAM’…THANX for reading all this nonsense…will try writing sense in next..
Gotta go finally.

Saturday, August 16, 2008


In another race to find answers to questions that have been pestering my brain since the last few blog posts..Here is another answer I got..These last few months I have had the most unanswerable questions popping up in my mind...rushing me inside-out...leaving me sad...unhappy with myself..Disgusted and wasted... (As usual)...
And then one night...when I was trying to sleep on my wet bed... (Wet with tearz... [: P]...!!)...just like many other nights...I was feeling lost...unwanted... (As usual)...2:00 A.M. …a scream...I sat was all hush outside...and very-very noisy inside...a shuddery lull…I went out..Nothing...the squall...I realized...was from conscience...was screaming to be heard...and I tried remembering...the last time I talked to was a long…long time…since I averted doing that..And now I couldn’t do it anymore...and so I surrendered and took heed of it..Curled up in my stars, no street lights...the only thing I could hear was the rain drops meeting the ground...and forming ripples..I wondered how something so small...could create half-a-hundred ripples...flowing out from a point...circling on and on and on…
This is the way things are happening in my life...maybe something as small as a droplet...since neglected...has caused the ripples of unhappiness..But what is that little thing? Why can’t I undo it??..How much I wish the ‘backspace’ on my keyboard...worked in my life...i wish...i wish...I wish..!!..(Ok...let’s not talk of the things tat can’t happen) I sat pondering over the questions my conscience was putting up on me...
It asked me...the reason of being unhappy...when all that is happening in my life is only because of the decisions I MADE...why am I blaming the life to be unkind to me...when all the things I got are the ones I CHOSE..??And why am I sad when I had promised it... (Read conscience) be happy in wateva I get...thankful wen I get gud...and managing to pull myself off when bad comes in my way..!!Why am I complicating things now...when I loved simple..!!..And why am I losing strength when I knew since the beginning that the ways I chose...are not bcuz they are easygoing..(Actually they were never meant to be easygoing)..But because I feel-like passing them...awww!! I so miss the gurl inside me who wanted to live life in ‘slow-motion’...who wanted seconds to pass like hrz...just so that she can enjoy every moment..!!..And why now do I want to fast-forward my life?? (Silly!!)
The answer I managed out to all this was EXPECTATIONS...ones that I have from me...and those that my family...and the world has...and just in the rush to finish all what they want from me...I’ve been heading for the hills since long now…I’m tired..Exhausted...and maybe I’ve missed myself somewhere in the hie...its just when dreams turn into expectations...that all gets bungled..!!When I was in grade 6...i dreamt of being a doctor...and now this is wat I expect from myself...wat my family expects of me. And all the running I’m doing is just to stand one-piece and victorious on their expectations..It is no longer a dream’s a duty..!!..
Now what happens when dreams don’t come true??Do we cry over it..??No...We sleep again...have a new dream that night or maybe the same one...but what if expectations aren’t finished??...we feel busted...and wasted...
So what I can now conclude from all the thinking that night...I scribble it into a little not-a-poem…

“Let dreams be dreams,
Have a B-E-A-utiful dream each night...
And if the dream doesn’t come true, don’t worry,
Have a new dream tonight...

But in all this rush...and pace of life,
Don’t let your dreamz and expectations coincide...
Cuz then is when the going gets tough…
And that is when it HURTS INSIDE..!!..”

Saturday, August 2, 2008


Being a typical voracious reader..I hog on to almost anything and everything that comes my way..( But just until my curiosity is working..).Once I loose my wonderment to know about the book or the story..I give up the read..(Which I think is normal..). Along with reading another good habit (gud..Err..Rather irritating..) Is that once I read something..I love narrating it to anyone I know..
Hmm..So cumin back to the topic of my latesht “BOOK-ISHTAAN-BOOKEDVENTURE”..I read INDIA 2020 by our very own..”long-weird hairdo uncle” APJ Abdul yaar!!serious respect to the ultimate person he is and all his work for ‘apna india’ deserves a heartfelt appreciation..(thank u APJAK uncle)..
About the book..-india the name says is a vision of india in year 2020 (and though it takes a lot more hrz..once u read the book u will definitely prefer it over a show of love story 2050) the book narrating the present situation of developing india provides a blue-print for the india-to-come..APJAK uncle’s unmovable confidence and his potentiality to accost the problems at the roots makes listening to him a job difficult to resist…believe me guyz..(though I’ve neva talked to him personally but weneva I hear him speaking on the television , I feel a connection, I sit glued to the TV and feel that wateva hez especially for me..only me..thanx to his ultimate verbalising abilities…sir,im a fan!! ok..ok back to book(*apology*, this carking habit of mine is a total problem!!)
Now lemme quote a few of my favorite lines from the book :-

“in the field of space technology, we started from a scratch to have today a system of satellite based communication linking remote regions of the country. The same sense of purpose can lead us to success in many other areas crucial to achieving the goal of a prosperous, strong nation..” w-o-w…(applause!!)

Now letz see wat tribune quotes about the book :-
“this is no ordinary should be in all libraries and on the desk of every individual who dreams about the future of india…”
As APJAK uncle says..he dedicates his book to a little girl who when asked about her dream..she said..”I want to live in a developed india”..
Well, now to put it in a nutshell, for all the young-ishtaan wasi who feel or who want to know about what can they do for india. Go get a copy and see for yourself..!! and no worries guyz..there is definitely something for everyone……
The ending backdrop:- (here we have a song for every feeling, I just love Indian music industry)
“saathi hath badhaan..
Ek akela thak jaega,
Milkar bojh uthana..
Sathi hath badhana..”
Signing off from book-ishtaan..!!
Think high..Fly higher.!!

Sunday, July 6, 2008


There were times “everything turned to gold”...
Whatever I asked for was mine...
But now im totally messed up...
Even the “gold” has lost its shine...

There were times, when all went fine...
Even if bitter I got, I swallowed...
‘cuz then I was a happy person..
And all the happy things, hence followed...

There were times my books, my skul, my frnz
Was the only world I had...
The ‘crossroads’ of the “new world” now,
Have certainly turned me ‘mad’..

One of the roads seems smooth..
And easy for me to walk…
While, the other is bare and tough enough..
And there is no one around to talk..

And here I am choosing the one..
That is less traveled by..
Wondering what’s at the other end..
A big smile or a cry..

Maybe at the other end,
All my worries will be swept..
And the world I would enter then,
Would be just perfect..

Or there maybe a world,
Which is dark and scary..
And I maybe all alone,
Wishing for a genie or a blue fairy!!

But still im positive,
And I have a strong will..
‘cuz therz a silver lining for each cloud,
And each half empty glass..Is also half filled..!!

And there will always be a crossroad..
There will be paths I have to choose..
But my job is to give my best always..
And then I’ll always win and never loose..

In the beginning it may be slow
And there might not be enough glory..
But not to worry as they say..


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

how 2 choose

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I am taking the one less traveled
By, and hope that makes the difference".

leaving the exceptional minority of those VERY-HIGHLY-EXTRAORDINARILY-INTELLIGENT geeks........who know answers to almost every littl-est question that pops up in their wide untiring setup of neurons...(brain seems a small word)...almost each one of us, spend thousand minutes out of the total 1440 (thank god!! calculators exist) a day working out in taking the right decision..or choosing one-out-of two ways.....the two situations that come across us can be well seen as the two roads one of which leads u to the destination and the other one....naaa....nothing has ever been said been about that wrong, in short there are two paths...RIGHT and WRONG..Out of which we are expected to choose the right...but it is not as simple as it seems...

When we jump in situations like this...we observe that their is nothing such as right...or...wrong...both the paths seem equally right and fruitful...alrite!! I do admit that one might give you more and maybe in a lesser time...but then how are you supposed to know that until you have already walked the path yourself....

Let’s see a few of my own personal incidents which have you-can-say...forced me to pen this post down...

Once in class ii, I went out to an official dinner with of the dad's office pal offered me two chocolates...both of which seemed equally delicious, chocolaty and yum!! can sumone tell me what was the right and wrong in any of the chocolate??
And so can anyone guess what my decision was...which one did I choose?? na don’t bother to run ur brains now...I’ll tell you...I CHOSE NONE...yup!! "...none" didn't seem such a hard decision back I was always lectured that "DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FROM THE STRANGERS"...and 'THE UNCLE' though my dad's friend was a complete stranger for me ...I had heard his name for the first time just a few minutes ago...

Then there were times I had to choose between black and blue...or between a wrangler and a spyker....

Once when the decision seemed simpler was choosing between ballerinas and I picked osho's they were the ones that suited my (not-to-mention) little pocket money...

And so the list goes on...and...On...and...On...may be forever....

but now I am(with my fun-school-days over)....standing in between another crossroads of my life...two roads in front of me...both look HARD, TOUGH AND ENDLESS...!!
One wrong step and the destiny takes me to a totally different world....
With this confused state of my mind...and no clues as to where am I heading...I have just one last question...from the law-makers...

If it is so often that we stand at a divergence, then why are the rules "to choose" the right UNDEFINED???