Two sides of me,
I dream of a place..
It’s a world in itself..
I dream of a place..
With fairies and elf..!!
Its love all around..
The sky hugs the ground..
Beyond the trees I try to see..
It’s a beautiful place for just..
You and me..!!
I dream of place..
It has the sea most wide..
I dream of a place..
With you by my side..!!
Its cold all around..
Calm water..Makes no sound..
I’m talking of the place.
Where our our new home I see..
I’m talking of the place..
Where together we’d be..!!
But ouch!! Something hurts..
Why am I in all this pain..
Why am I loosing my sight..
Am I falling into sleep yet again??
What is this place..
Is it the same dream?
Flowers on my window..
Are shining under the ‘divine’ beam!!
Aah!! It hurts again//
Yet again I feel the pain..
Why is everyone around me crying?
Is it just this dream..
Or am I REALLY DYING??
The man I saw in my dream..
Is here, holding my hand..
I struggle to look at his finger..
Yeah!! It still has our wedding band..!!
Fire and fire,
Was suddenly, all I could see..
Fire oh fire..
Its prey the other night was..
‘POOR ME!’
He asked me for a wish..
I hunted for a perfect reply..
It was my ‘LAST WISH’ after all..
How could he deny??
‘I LOVE YOU’ , I said..
‘BUT DEATH IS CLEVER…
KEEP ME ALIVE IN YOUR HEART..
AND BE MINE FOREVER..!!’
just may be an hour more of the 'death-play'..and the girl collapsed into the world of 'nothingness'..the poem is written about a girl who fell victim to a fire hazard..just 2 days after her engagement party..she was forced to go into 'the-dreamless-long-slumber'..jus when she started to dream of her coming new life..it was an incident i came across a few months back..and again in a dream..4 days back..
a lot happened since i penned down down my last post and jotted down this one latest...
i guess it has almost been 3 weeks, i turned 19..(biiieeeeggg gurl:P)...had fun partied..went out of town..deepawli..had an ear surgery..and more...the only thing i did not do i guess..was posting here...and yeah!!! i missed it...was on rest..wasnt allowed to surf even..(hrmphh!!!)..but now..um out of my long slumber!!! and posting...
along with all the other things...i did..i also finished 2 of the novels...that i had been reading..(actually not-really-reading)..since 2months i guess....
have nothing much to write here...just a small poem..i read in one of the books..the other night..post in your comments if u like-it..(the poyam :P)
THE BOOK OF LIFE :)
dog-eared covers
enclose fading text..
missing pages i seek
unknown chapters ahead..!!!
writing my dreams
in the blank pages ahead..
line after line filled
with hopes in my head..!!!
it may well..change,
like chalk on slate..
but atleast il know
the author was me..
NOT MY FATE..!!!!
\,,/
CHEERZ!
lv:nickku :
(v) smoked a cigarette--> hmm...once in full knowlege of fattuz mommy..on her roof top 3 at night..
() done some form of dope
( ) crashed a friend's car
( v) stolen a car-->hehe..yup...cousins..toy car..it was a dare
(v) been in love -->i guess tats the problem...tat um not in love wid him...
( v) been dumped-->kinda recently..even been two-timed apne pure hosh-o-hawaaz me..
() shoplifted
() been fired
() been in a fist fight
() sneaked out of your parent's house .
(v) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back--> wat if its the other way round??
( v) gone on a blind date-->hehe...hell yess!!! april 5th..mocha...it was...aaahhh!!!(:P)
(v) lied to a friend -->hihihi...lott ov them...
( v) skipped school -->thrice...jumped walls..sneaked out of the main gate even..serius fun...
( ) seen someone die
(v) had a crush on one of your internet friends--> Ahem ..it even went beyond just a crush..did turn into a relation..n well..rest...furgt it..
() been to Singapore .
( ) been to Mexico
(v) been on a plane -->Big deal?
(v) eaten sushi And felt pukish.
( ) been skiing-snow or water
(v) met someone from the internet--> hehe...hmm april the 5th....
() been at a concert
() taken painkillers
(v) love someone or miss someone right now--> hmm..yes.a stupid idiot..
(v) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by--> too often.
() made a snow angel
(v) had a tea party-->not tea exactly..not even parddyy exactly..!!
(v) flown a kite -->Ahaan. I love it. but most of the time im there at the top i prefer BIRD-watching..taz more fun..hehe
(v) built a sand castle -wish to...
( ) gone puddle jumping
( ) played dress up-->hell..yeah!!
(v) jumped into a pile of leaves -->not leaves as such was hay..i guess sum of it has entered my empty brain too..it now is the main ingredient inside;)
( ) gone sledding
(v) cheated while playing a game -->fair play...well wazz tat??
(v) been lonely -->prefer being lotta times...
(v) fallen asleep at work/school -->all the geography classes..all the physics ones too.. :D
() used a fake ID .
(v) watched the sun set -->deep Sigh..along wid watchn i also hav a nag of capturing it in my faltu camera..i jus love the red sky..
() watched someone sleep .
( v) felt an earthquake-->after my 12th board physics ppr..pairo tale zameen khisak gyi thi..
(v) slept beneath the stars -->n loved it
() been tickled .
(v) been robbed -->quite a lot ov times..
(v) been misunderstood -->as always...
() pet a reindeer/goat/kangaroo
(v) won a contest -->Quite. A. Few.one made me...meet john...yeee...see the pic in my side bar..yipee-wipee woo hoo!!
( ) run a red light/stop sign-->cant count the no ov times now..
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car crash
( ) had braces
(v) felt like an outcast/third person-->common story..
( v) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night-->luurrvvee..ice-creams..
(v) had deja vu--> Err..all the time..
(v) danced in the moonlight -->yupz..loved it..one party nite il neva eva furget...
(v) liked the way you looked -->my first n last love - SELF-LOVE...hihi how true..!!!
( ) witnessed a crime
(v) questioned your heart -->every night..
() been obsessed with post-it notes
(v) squished mud through your bare feet ;)
(v) been lost -->most ov the times..i hav the worst direction sense u knw...:D
( ) been on the opposite side of the country
(v) swam in the ocean -->mumbai??
(v) felt like dying -->once every two hrz..
(v) cried yourself to sleep -->Sigh..read my blog posts..tazz the first line..many a times..
(v ) played cops and robbers-->even other foolish games..lov 'em all..
(v) recently colored with crayons--> quite a lot this month n last one..made cards for few lovely ppl..
() sang karaoke
.(v) paid for a meal with only coins -->hell...naah!! a farishta saved me frm the embaressment..(v) done something you told yourself you wouldn't -->YAESSSSSSS. is that a question? i guess tats a fact...
(v) made prank phone calls -->Fuck. hell lott..
(v) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose--> ding dong...
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(v) danced in the rain -->Aaahhhhhh...love it!in the rain walking on the road..with...^~^
(v ) a letter to Santa Claus-->i wanted a twin..was 7 tat time..i wanted sumone who cud go to skool tk my place..i dunno why..cuz now i so miss goin to skul..
( ) been kissed under the mistletoe..:D
( ) watched the sun rise with someone you care about ..
(v) blown bubbles--> last nite..love it!!
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) gone roller skating
(v) had a wish come true--> Quite a few
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(v) kissed a mirror--> hihi...lot many times..
(v) sang in the shower--> All the time(sang....doubtful..screamed i guess)
(v) had a dream that you married someone-->long bak..my french sir..first crush..
(v) glued your hand to something--> to sumbodys hand..3hrz of the movie..;)
(v) kissed a photo--> yes!! yess!! yess!!
() climbed a water tower
( ) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(v) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours--> ha had been a routine..lil time bak..longest was 10 in nite to 7 in the morning..had my chemistry board practical tat day..read not even a word...dint even regret..as if studying helped the othr felows..impression on teachers does wonders..!!
() picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(v) climbed a tree -->peepal tree(nokia) at skul..
( ) had a tree house
(v) been too scared to watch a scary movie alone---> Forever.
( ) believe in ghosts
( v) have more than 30 pairs of shoes -->bachpan se ajtak to yes..otherwise...naah!!.
() worn a really ugly outfit to school
() gone streaking
() gone doorbell ditching
(v) been pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on-->hell yeah..at 3 in the morning..in the month of january....*shivers*
( ) told you're hot by a complete stranger
(v ) broken a bone-->brotherz..playing some stupid doctors help....
() been easily amused .
( ) caught a fish then ate it
() caught a butterfly .
(v) laughed so hard you cried--> Hmmm..!
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(v) cheated on a test--> Errr..countless no of times...
(v) forgotten some one's name--> neva-eva..hav a gud memory..very gud actually
( ) French braided some one's hair
() gone skinny dipping in a pool/hot tub/river
( ) been threatened to be kicked out of your house or been kicked out of your house-->every week's dose..
(v) loved someone so much you would gladly die for THEM -->hmmm...no doubts abt this one..there are a few ppl in tat zone..(
( ) cheated on someone--> hell..neva..neva even will..
(v) talk to yourself when no one's around -->i do tat sumtimes even wen ppl are around..landed into embaressing situations a lotta timz!!
() hate someone you once loved
( v) love someone you once hated-->well..i kinda fall in love very esily..
(v) kissed the phone for the person on the other side ------>>yeaaaaaaah..
(v) kissed the person on the other side of the phone --->>>well....yyyyeeaaaah!!!.
phew!!! tat was longg....quite longg...though the answerz aint too funny or pun-intended..but yeah..they are true..as true as they cud be..
\,,/ rock on!!
cheerz~nickku..!!
In times now or before, I’m sure every one of us has actually had a situation when we had to wait …..Wait for the good times to come..Or wait for the creepy times to leave..Wait for Ur girl to get ready..(Though in that case the wait is worth it..)..Or most simply..Wait f
or Ur bus to come..And so…the wait has always been there..There are a few people I know who have a habit of being late..And the most common excuse is.. ”c’mon re…sirf 20min hi to late hu, India me itta to chalta hi hai”..So,well here comes the INDIAN STANDARD TIME..Or better said “whenever u wish to” time..This says 12:00 when u wish..Even if its 2:00pm…funny??? Naa ask the person who waits for you..And then after much observation..I landed on to another brand of people (after not-punctual and punctual)..The category of people who are .. UNDER-PUNCTUAL.. vella people like me, who arrive at a place almost 30 min or at least 15 min early just Cuz they don’t want to wait for anyone and hence, prefer not even to keep somebody waiting..Now since that’s been a routine for me..Let’s get over it and see w
hat happens when you sit in a café and wait for sumone to come…
shed them to be a guest in my post..(But then let ‘em enjoy their privacy..)..Then there were a few groups..Lol-ing..Having fun..I had been their ‘shikaar’ twice now..
ya yaar!! I had to refuse..With a “thanx anyways” Cuz it was 12:15 and was time for the ‘sumone’ to come and well I guess he is here..I can see through the glass..(No wonderz!! U all know that I’ve written this since I was waiting..Not Cuz ‘sumone’ was late..But since ‘I’ was too early..!!) Now that’s how I am..’I YAM WAT I YAM’…THANX for reading all this nonsense…will try writing sense in next..
In another race to find answers to questions that have been pestering my brain since the last few blog posts..Here is another answer I got..These last few months I have had the most unanswerable questions popping up in my mind...rushing me inside-out...leaving me sad...unhappy with myself..Disgusted and wasted... (As usual)... 
And then one night...when I was trying to sleep on my wet bed... (Wet with tearz... [: P]...!!)...just like many other nights...I was feeling lost...unwanted... (As usual)...2:00 A.M. …a scream...I sat up...it was all hush outside...and very-very noisy inside...a shuddery lull…I went out..Nothing...the squall...I realized...was from within...my conscience...was screaming to be heard...and I tried remembering...the last time I talked to myself...it was a long…long time…since I averted doing that..And now I couldn’t do it anymore...and so I surrendered and took heed of it..Curled up in my balcony...no stars, no street lights...the only thing I could hear was the rain drops meeting the ground...and forming ripples..I wondered how something so small...could create half-a-hundred ripples...flowing out from a point...circling on and on and on…
This is the way things are happening in my life...maybe something as small as a dr
oplet...since neglected...has caused the ripples of unhappiness..But what is that little thing? Why can’t I undo it??..How much I wish the ‘backspace’ on my keyboard...worked in my life...i wish...i wish...I wish..!!..(Ok...let’s not talk of the things tat can’t happen)...so I sat pondering over the questions my conscience was putting up on me...
It asked me...the reason of being unhappy...when all that is happening in my life is only because of the decisions I MADE...why am I blaming the life to be unkind to me...when all the things I got are the ones I CHOSE..??And why am I sad when I had promised it... (Read conscience)...to be happy in wateva I get...thankful wen I get gud...and managing to pull myself off when bad comes in my way..!!Why am I complicating things now...when I loved simple..!!..And why am I losing strength when I knew since the beginning that the ways I chose...are not bcuz they are easygoing..(Actually they were never meant to be easygoing)..But because I feel-like passing them...awww!! I so miss the gurl inside me who wanted to live life in ‘slow-motion’...who wanted seconds to pass like hrz...just so that she can enjoy every moment..!!..And why now do I want to fast-forward my life?? (Silly!!)
The answer I managed out to all this was EXPECTATIONS...ones that I have from me...and those that my frnz...my family...and the world has...and just in the rush to finish all what they want from me...I’ve been heading for the hills since long now…I’m tired..Exhausted...and maybe I’ve missed myself somewhere in the hie...its just when dreams turn into expectations...that all gets bungled..!!When I was in grade 6...i dreamt of being a doctor...and now this is wat I expect from myself...wat my family expects of me. And all the running I’m doing is just to stand one-piece and victorious on their expectations..It is no longer a dream anymore...it’s a duty..!!..
Now what happens when dreams don’t come true??Do we cry over it..??No...We sleep again...have a new dream that night or maybe the same one...but what if expectations aren’t finished??...we feel busted...and wasted...
So what I can now conclude from all the thinking that night...I scribble it into a little not-a-poem…
“Let dreams be dreams,
Have a B-E-A-utiful dream each night...
And if the dream doesn’t come true, don’t worry,
Have a new dream tonight...
But in all this rush...and pace of life,
Don’t let your dreamz and expectations coincide...
Cuz then is when the going gets tough…
And that is when it HURTS INSIDE..!!..”
Being a typical voracious reader..I hog on to almost anything and everything that comes my way..( But just until my curiosity is working..).Once I loose my wonderment to know about the book or the story..I give up the read..(Which I think is normal..). Along with reading another good habit (gud..Err..Rather irritating..) Is that once I read something..I love narrating it to anyone I know..
Hmm..So cumin back to the topic of my latesht “BOOK-ISHTAAN-BOOKEDVENTURE”..I read INDIA 2020 by our very 
own..”long-weird hairdo uncle” APJ Abdul kalam..na yaar!!serious respect to the ultimate person he is and all his work for ‘apna india’ deserves a heartfelt appreciation..(thank u APJAK uncle)..
About the book..-india 2020..as the name says is a vision of india in year 2020 (and though it takes a lot more hrz..once u read the book u will definitely prefer it over a show of love story 2050)..so the book narrating the present situation of developing india provides a blue-print for the india-to-come..APJAK uncle’s unmovable confidence and his potentiality to accost the problems at the roots makes listening to him a job difficult to resist…believe me guyz..(though I’ve neva talked to him personally but weneva I hear him speaking on the television , I feel a connection, I sit glued to the TV and feel that wateva hez speaking..is especially for me..only me..thanx to his ultimate verbalising abilities…sir,im a fan!! ok..ok back to book(*apology*, this carking habit of mine is a total problem!!)
Now lemme quote a few of my favorite lines from the book :- 
“in the field of space technology, we started from a scratch to have today a system of satellite based communication linking remote regions of the country. The same sense of purpose can lead us to success in many other areas crucial to achieving the goal of a prosperous, strong nation..” w-o-w…(applause!!)
Now letz see wat tribune quotes about the book :-
“this is no ordinary book..it should be in all libraries and on the desk of every individual who dreams about the future of india…”
As APJAK uncle says..he dedicates his book to a little girl who when asked about her dream..she said..”I want to live in a developed india”..
Well, now to put it in a nutshell, for all the young-ishtaan wasi who feel or who want to know about what can they do for india. Go get a copy and see for yourself..!! and no worries guyz..there is definitely something for everyone……
The ending backdrop:- (here we have a song for every feeling, I just love Indian music industry)
“saathi hath badhaan.. 
Ek akela thak jaega,
Milkar bojh uthana..
Sathi hath badhana..”
Signing off from book-ishtaan..!!
Think high..Fly higher.!!
Cheerz..!!
Luv:nickku
littl-est question that pops up in their wide untiring setup of neurons...(brain seems a small word)...almost each one of us, spend thousand minutes out of the total 1440 (thank god!! calculators exist)...in a day working out in taking the right decision..or choosing one-out-of two ways.....the two situations that come across us can be well seen as the two roads one of which leads u to the destination and the other one....naaa....nothing has ever been said been about that wrong path...so, in short there are two paths...RIGHT and WRONG..Out of which we are expected to choose the right...but it is not as simple as it seems...
salt..And hence I got myself registered into a total youth organization that aims at mobilizing youth and fighting their problems to carve out a beautiful tomorrow..To cut edges of stone and bring out shining crystals…
elf and help others to discover themselves...people may call it a service to people or a social work but it is PATRIOTISM as I would like to put it across..
when i kiss him?? (eeeeuuuu.....but i dont like frogs, can he not be cursed to turn into something better than a frog and also easy to kiss!!i wonder!!)
te!! )
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